My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
