why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
