that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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