Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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