Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
