How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
