Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
