If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
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