That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
she smelled like a LAN party
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize