Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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