I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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