I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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