but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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