dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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