I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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