The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
