dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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