I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
