Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
