Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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