Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
