covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
