what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
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Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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