I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize