You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
