Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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