I wanna bring you to show and tell
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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