hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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