Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
