i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
