My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
