as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
