One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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