I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
