sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize