I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
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It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
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What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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