i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
