did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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