Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
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Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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