so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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