he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
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I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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