i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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