Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Success! We fucked roommates!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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