Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
