sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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