bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
