thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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