Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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