I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
