i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
