Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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