you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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