It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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