I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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