at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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