Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
operation harelip BJ is a go
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
