Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
