dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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