I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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