Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
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