yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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